What Is Bereavement?
What is Bereavement? How Can it Present?
When we lose someone close to us, when someone who has left a significant mark on our lives has died, we go through a bereavement process. So, what is bereavement? It’s the period after a death where we may experience grief, longing, anger, regret, disbelief, and even relief about our loss.
Some of us may begin to question ourselves and what’s important to us while going through deep loss and explore a change in our lives’ direction. Others may channel their energies into what’s concretely in front of them, like work, vocation, or practical matters. Some may bury their emotions, turn against themselves, or cope in maladaptive ways because that’s the best they can do in the moment to survive their suffering.
Because the bereavement process looks different for everyone, those who present with less common or less clear expressions of grief may go misunderstood, judged by others, grow critical of themselves, or feel at a loss for how to manage feelings of isolation. Even those who’ve received support through their losses may struggle with the aftermath of time, especially when they seem to be grieving longer or harder than what their support circles offer grace for.
Cultural Attitudes Around Death and Dying
In the west, our forward-movement oriented culture tends be death defying and death denying. Death is often viewed as something to be conquered, potentially exemplative of the culture’s overall discomfort with it. In cultures where the death process is viewed as a stage of life, where grief is respected, the process is understood as not always linear and therefore held space for. The bereaved may then more reliably be able to make meaning of their losses, grieve fully, and feel less alone.
Disenfranchised Bereavement
Disenfranchised bereavement occurs when we move through a grieving process that our societies or communities struggle to affirm, speak about, or know how to support us through. This may include bereavement related to death by suicide, accidental overdose, miscarriage or still birth, or the deaths of abusive family members or partners. Disenfranchised bereavement may also occur at the death of a pet, or the death of those previously in one’s care as a health and medical professional or support worker. It is common for those whose experiences of grief are disenfranchised to feel unseen or invalidated.
Anticipatory Grief
Anticipatory grief is a type of disenfranchised bereavement one goes through when a loved one will or is likely to die in time or over time, such as in the case of a terminal illness, or a slowly degenerative illness. It is moving through bereavement prior to death, which may cause an internal struggle, fuel guilt and shame, or lead one to hide their emotions for fear of judgement, misunderstanding, or for fear of centering their experience over others’.
If you’re experiencing grief and loss, and struggling to find support, you may consider reaching out to a registered health care professional to help you navigate and process your experience. Bereavement groups and group counseling may also be available in your area to provide you with further resources and community centered care.
Bereavement FAQs
What’s the Difference Between Bereavement and Grief?
Bereavement refers to a period of mourning after death and loss, where grief is one emotional and psychological experience that may occur during a bereavement process. Experiences of grief are also not exclusive to death and bereavement, and is common amidst other significant losses like a breakup, or major life transition.
What’s the Difference Between Grief and Mourning?
Grief refers to the internal feeling or experience of loss, where as mourning is the outward expression of grief. Mourning can include weeping, funeral processions, saying goodbye, and other activities that support the bereaved in making meaning and processing loss. It is not uncommon for those who experience disenfranchised grief to have less access to a mourning process, or to feel understood in their mourning.